Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
About Me
- Big Green Guy
- Let's be clear here: I'm not the real Godzilla. I'm a toy. I fit in a pocket. My owner took me to Antarctica and photographed me among the penguins, snow and ice and it was so fun that she's continued to take me places and take photos of me. It's silly. Very silly. I hope you get a chuckle out of it. Roar.
1 comment:
Dear Goddie~
You don't mind if I call you that, do you? I mean, I've been watching your every move...I sorta feel like, you know, we're CONNECTED somehow, like I KNOW you. Isn't that WEIRD? Like your days could be my days although--okay, don't laugh--I've never been to Antarctica! Isn't that stupid?? I mean, I use Zesty Blend, though, so we have that in common. See? We really are alike. Okay, not really, that was a little lie, I use Lowry's Seasoning Salt because I used to live in the flat, cold God-forsaken Midwest where everyone has those funny accents and they do weird things to fish and even pancakes have a strange name (are you Lutheran, Goddie? I'm not, but I thought I should ask, cause, you know....in case we have kids someday, we'd have to agree on how to raise them....how do you feel about Unitarians? Am I getting ahead of myself? I don't want to scare you off or anything...men get kinda freaky when you mention kids, or when you mention anything about the FUTURE, I mean what IS that.....) and people are kind of mean in a weirdly "nice" kind of way and it's totally confusing and, anyway, my point is Lowry's was the seasoning blend of choice but if you like Zesty I could like Zesty, too, I'm sure they're really the same thing in a different bottle, except Lowry's doesn't have MSG and I get terrible migraines from MSG...Do you get migraines, Goddie? I imagine you rearing back in great pain, throwing those amazing, muscular, green--hands? Paws? Claws?--to your aching head. How I'd love to massage those gigantic, throbbing temples for you....oh, but that's too personal. Forgive me. Have I overstepped my boundary, Goddie?
It's just that....your antics, your daily explorations, I just find you so amazingly FASCINATING, and, like, so freakin' ADORABLE....and I do yoga, too! And belly dance! Isn't that amazing? We are SO meant to be together! Like I said, I feel like I KNOW you already....Do you like Sushi? I don't know how it would taste topped with a sprinkling of Zesty Blend....but I'd be willing to explore the possibility with you.
I can tell you're just SO much nicer than that freaky frog-fish thing that jumped out of the Han River in South Korea and ran all over the place chewing all those poor--well, Koreans--with its double set of teeth and than grabbed that poor little girl with its tail and dragged her to its lair in the sewer system. That is SO not the way to get attention, don't you agree? You'd never do that, would you, Goddie? Drag a helpless female to your lair?
Or would you?
You eat chocolate at bedtime and gaze wonderingly at your own reflection; this--along with your daily regimen--tells me you are a sensitive, perceptive soul....
And, speaking of chocolate--not to be bossy or anything, but--you might want to watch the chocolate consumption, actually (not to mention all that salt! Swollen ankles are NOT attractive on big dinosaur-looking guys like you, I'm serious....)if only cause one of your whiteheads would equal, like, a BAZILLION of mine and if that thing ever exploded, sayonara, Tierra del Fuego.
Am I right?
See? I care for you so much already! Even your scaly (preferably UN-blemished) skin!
Well, that's enough for now...Adieu, my Goddie, and until next time, I remain~
Your Biggest Fan (YBF)
Post a Comment