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About Me
- Big Green Guy
- Let's be clear here: I'm not the real Godzilla. I'm a toy. I fit in a pocket. My owner took me to Antarctica and photographed me among the penguins, snow and ice and it was so fun that she's continued to take me places and take photos of me. It's silly. Very silly. I hope you get a chuckle out of it. Roar.
3 comments:
Goddie?
Goddie, I think we need to talk. Something has occurred to me, and it's giving me a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach and I'm not talking about that excited, head-y I'm-in-love feeling where it's all fluttery and you can't eat and you feel sorta queasy and like you need to sit on the pot a million times a day even though nothing happens and you just end up wasting a lot of time and you don't feel any better.
Not that.
Although, truth be told, first time I laid eyes on your scaly green goodness, that WAS how I reacted, which is how I just KNEW you were the one for me, but I digress.
You told me your brain was the size of a walnut but according to this photo of you, that YOU labeled "Tiny but Mighty," you YOURSELF are practically no bigger than a walnut. Which means your BRAIN has got to be the size of a hazelnut, or even a shelled peanut!
Which means you're having a hard time being honest with me, Goddie, that you're trying to "embellish the goods," so to speak (a hazard, I'm fully aware, of online dating), and I can't handle dishonesty. It's worse than stupidity, in my book. I mean, you can be stupid but honest, but now you're bending the truth....we can't build a relationship on a lack of mutual trust, Goddie, don't you know that? I mean, it's so BASIC, anyone would tell you. Especially Dear Abby.
Who might even be dead by now, but you could probably find old Dear Abby columns and read up on the concept of honesty within the construct of an intimate relationship.
It might do you some good, Goddie. It might do US some good.
And, I mean, how "tiny" are you, really? Cause you look mammoth to me, actually, mammoth with a really tiny brain (says you, but I can't believe someone as interesting as you could really be so.....dim. You know? Pardon the pun, but I just can't wrap my brain around that one...)
Except, you DO actually look kinda...diminutive, to be nice about it. It's not that I mind short-statured men or anything, it's just....
I'm let down, Goddie. I'm confused. Does this mean you wouldn't have enough honest-to-God upper body strength to haul our adopted Japanese baby around?
Because you DO need to participate in that experience, Goddie. I consider myself liberated and as such, refuse to do all the "womanly work" of schlepping the kid. What is that?
Unfair. That's what.
I think you have some explaining to do. I'm not calling it quits.
I mean, I couldn't. You don't toss the apple cause it has a teeny worm in it! It's a good sign, like maybe it's an organic apple and really good for you.
You toss the worm and enjoy the rest of the fruit.
I won't toss you, Goddie. I'm here for you. And ONE of us has to be BIG in this relationship, even if it IS just metaphorical....
In spite of your penchant for truth-bending, I'm still
YBF
How is it my problem that you didn't bother to read my profile right on the front page which reads "I'm a Toy. I fit in a pocket.".
What you get yourself into due to lack of attention is not my dilemma. However, I do still want that Japanese baby. It would last me for years at the rate I nibble.
Trust, schmust. Let's get it on.
"Get it on?" Are you really that crass, Goddie?
Do you watch WWF and slam Old Milwaukee in your down time? Do you secretly think Brooke Hogan is HOT? Do you go to monster truck rallies and demolition derbies?
Do you--oh, God--vote REPUBLICAN, Goddie?
Oh, and did you mean you were going to EAT our child?
You may be small, but your aggression is outsized, Goddie.
So you're not the warm fuzzy type. I got it.
But I kinda dig your hard edges, the utter lack of sentimentality. I sorta like that in a monster.
I remain intrigued and also
YBF
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